Saturday, May 28, 2011

A Freakish Technicolor Nightmare!!!

There are many things in life that you either love or you hate - things for which you can’t even develop a tolerance if you hate them.  If you love them, you were born doing so.  Here are a few examples I feel are fairly universal:

·         Modern Art
·         Beer
·         Wal-Mart
·         Clowns
·         Haiku
·         Sean Penn
·         Marmite (If you happen to be British)
·         Sushi
·         Camping
·         Documentaries
·         The Grateful Dead
There is, however, one ULTIMATE love it or hate it example.  It’s either beloved, or if you’re like me it gives you heart palpitations.  Yes, I’m referring to “The Wizard of Oz!”  I cringe simply writing the words. 
Again for many this film is classic, a treasure to own in your personal video library.  It’s a pleasure, an event even, to watch several times a year.
For me this movie is the definitive example of a genre I call “The Freakish Technicolor Nightmare!”  Here are just a few of the cringe inducing horrors of this piece of celluloid:

·         Melting Witches
·         Flying monkeys who kidnap people
·         Tornados
·         Kansas
·         A scarecrow dancing about as if his feet move independently from his body
·         A horse that changes color
·         Munchkins
·         Judy Garland
·         Glenda never really seemed like a name for a “Good Witch.”  Glenda is more likely to need you to bring her Mountain Dew and cigarettes back to the trailer rather than cast a beautiful spell you
I know I'm right about this!  I'll go door to door if I have to in order to sway people to my way of thinking.  I'm persistant, too.
We used to watch this move ALL.THE.TIME at my grandparen'ts.  My grandfather had one of the very first VCRs.  It looked like a safe, and probably weighed as much as one too.  No telling how much it cost.  The only move they had for us to watch was, you guessed it….
One year for my dance recital the theme was “The Wizard of Oz.”  I’ll be danged if my class didn’t wear brown unitards as we were flying monkeys.  I begged my mom to let me quit, but she said no.  She’s getting the therapy bills.
Other films in the genre of Freakish Technicolor Nightmare include:

·         Alice in Wonderland (the cartoon)
·         Willie Wonka
·         Pretty much the entire catalogue of Johnny Depp
·         Certain scenes from Mary Poppins
·         Goonies
·         BeetleJuice
·         Harry Potter (Oh yes!)
·         The Narnia series
Sadly, I’ve notice this genre creeping into the world of commercials.  Commercials are so ubiquitous it’s difficult to leave the room every time one of the 30 seconds of hell appears.  Here are a few of the worst of the worst.

This is just diabolical!

What the heck is this about???

I'll admit this makes me chuckle, but a talking baby - freaky!!!!!

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