A jury found Casey Anthony “Not Guilty” last week. I, like many others, was left in an open mouthed state of shock. I think Mr. Anthony is twisted and narcissistic and a murderer. I also understand the idea of “reasonable doubt.” The jurors who’ve spoken out so far seem to be rational, reasonable people. They couldn’t convict her. I get that.
Although no one could prove she’s a murderer, it was proven that, as my mother would say, “Casey is a pimple on the ass of progress!” She’ll be out of jail on Sunday. A career is probably out of the question as she probably wouldn’t be a reliable employee. Since she’ll need to do something, I’ve come up with some ideas.
1. The most obvious: A spread in Playboy. Mr. Hefner could probably get her to do it for a bargain basement price. I can see it now: Turn ons – Duct tape, Chloroform, and smelly cars… Turn offs – Children, police detectives, nosey meter readers
2. She could go to LA and exchange notes with Lindsay Lohan. They’re about the same age and would probably get along famously. LiLo and Tot Mom take LA!
3. New wife to OJ Simpson – Those two have much in common!
4. Life Coach and mentor on the new season of “Teen Mom”
5. Hold seminars on how lie. “The Crying Wolf Institute” she could call it
6. Pornography. Snuff films mainly.
7. One of Charlie Sheen’s “Goddesses” I know he’d love to be in the news again. She’s certainly pretty enough and the job qualifications are nil. Also he apparently has actual, real-life nannies to look after his kids
Choices to Avoid
1. Babysitting of any kind
2. Life Guarding
3. Computer Forensics
Whatever you choose Casey, you’ll need someone to give you a second chance. The spotlight of quick fame will dim. The media attention will fade. You’ll be left alone with nothing but lies.