Monday, October 8, 2012

I’ve been wanting this for 30 years!

So my grandmother died.  And no, sicko, that’s not what I’ve been wanting for 30 years.  I hear it was a lovely service.  Yes, I was there, but I was chasing a two year old around the funeral home.  After the funeral, my aunt gave some of her things to whom my grandmother had designated.  I had forgotten about this part.
My mom was present for this part, and the next day she brought my “item” from Grandmother’s house.  All she said, “You’re going to be so SO excited!”  This is something you’ve wanted since you were like five or six!”  I couldn’t even imagine what it was.  But I was intrigued for sure.  Mom gave me a box about the size that holds copy paper.  I grabbed it carefully, because I thought its contents would be heavy.  The box was feather-lite.  At that moment I knew what my bequest was – EDWINA BLANCHE!!!!!!
Yes, my grandmother left me a doll.  Not just any doll, mind you.  It’s an ORIGINAL soft sculpture Cabbage Patch doll.  She's signed my Xavier Roberts and everything! You might think it odd that my grandmother owned a Cabbage Patch doll.  I mentioned in a previous post that she was eccentric.  In fact she’d be mad that I said she “owned” the doll.  She was adopted.  I’ve got the papers to prove it. 
When I was about six or so, we were visiting my grandmother who lived in Georgia.  This was before the “Cabbage Patch Craze.”  At this time they were hand made dolls from this little boutique in Cleveland, Georgia.  I don’t remember why we were shopping in Cleveland, Georgia.  For a little girl into dolls, this store was my Mecca!  It was as if the mother ship had called me home.  Imagine it – all the dolls, each one cuter than the next.  There were girls, boys, preemies, toddlers.  They had wonderful outfits and accessories.  They were displayed in strollers, baby beds, in cribs, on tricycles – it.was.awesome!  They.were.expensive!!!!  Most were priced from $150.  My mother told me to dream on.  Not even Santa could pull that one off.  Why you’d take a six year old, doll freak to the greatest doll store EVER and not get her one is just plain mean if you ask me.  We stayed in the store for what felt like an eternity.  At one point I thought I had my mom talked into a doll – but she didn’t waiver. 
Then I notice Grandmother seriously enamored with one of the babies.  SHE WAS GOING TO BUY ME ONE!  That’s what grandmothers are for, right?  Hell no!  She bought the doll for herself.  I’ll repeat.  She bought the doll for herself!!!!  She always was a bit unconventional.

It was as if my world stopped.  How could she do this to me?  I started to cry and cry and cry.  But I still thought that I misunderstood the situation.  Surely when we got home she’d admit that her buying the doll was a joke and she’d give her to me. 
Finally the shopping trip from hell ended and we went back to her house.  She was like a child with a new toy.  She loved the effing doll!!!!  I cried even harder because I was so pissed off.  Of course as a five year old I didn’t articulate it that way. 
For years Edwina’s smiling face looked mockingly at me as she lay perfectly on Grandmother’s bed.  Or she mocked me from her crib or her stroller.  Yes, Grandmother got the doll a crib and a stroller.  Sometimes when we would visit Edwina would not be there.  She would go visit Aunt Jane or another relative, or she would go to camp.  Yes, the doll went to camp.  Technically you sent the doll back to Cleveland, Georgia where it gets cleaned and repaired.  But the doll returns wearing a “Summer Camp” t-shirt.  Oh PU-LEASE????  This would usually make me cry more, because I secretly want to see her. 
But, now she’s mind – ALL MINE!!!!  Don’t know what I’m going to do with her.  And yes, I did look on E-Bay to determine the current auction value.  She’s in mint condition, mind you!  She hasn’t appreciated in value as much as I would have thought.  But she means a lot to me, so I’ll hold onto her for a while.  Mainly I’m holding onto her because, I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR THIRTY FREAKIN’ YEARS!!!!!


  1. Sounds like a parable…you have delivered a timeless message “for those who wait”. I hope you “adopt” her.

    1. Absolutely!!!! Wouldn't dream of Edwina living with anyone else!