Working at cross purposes

We’ve been trying to sell our house since June.  There have been a few showings, and a couple serious lookers.  But here my house still sits with a “For Sale” sign in the yard.  Much like the superstitions and rituals people perform for a favorable outcome at a sporting event, are the rituals and lengths we will go to sell a home. 

My neighbor, a good catholic, swears that if you bury a statue of St. Joseph in your yard, you house will sell.  “Every house I’ve sold, I’ve buried St. Joseph and it sold within a week,” she told me.  “Show off!” was my reply.

Our first open house was in July.  This happened “sans St. Joseph.”  No one came.  Seriously, not even the neighbors.  Mad doesn’t even begin to describe my feelings.  If you’ve ever had an open house, you know what a colossal pain in the a$$ it is to get ready for it.  Throw in a toddler who leaves destruction in his wake like a hurricane – it’s even more trying. 

St. Joseph, patron saint of the
happy home.

We had a second open house in October.  I chose the date carefully – trying to predict the weather, taking into account the Vols football schedule and the likelihood that they would win and the affect that would have.  This time, part of my preparation was burying a St. Joseph statue.  I found one on Amazon for $7.  To ensure his arrival by open house day, I paid an additional $6 to have him shipped 2^nd day.  How ridiculous was that?  I buried him unceremoniously in the yard.  I did it according to the directions, however.  You know, head first, facing your new home.

Just in case St. Joseph didn’t work, I got a bamboo plant.  I hear they bring luck…  In effect, I’ve pitted the power of the Holy Spirit against the luck a plant is supposed to bring.

Much to my chagrin and dismay, there were no cash offers for full asking price.  There were no offers at all…

The bamboo plant - bringing me luck
and $$$ at my office.

I’ve decided to change tack slightly.  Instead of merely burying the statue, I will actually pray the suggested prayer.  I believe in intercessory prayer.  Have you heard the story about Danny Thomas and the founding of St. Jude hospital?

I’m now solely relying on faith to sell my house.  I’ve taken the bamboo plant to my office.  A significant part of fundraising is luck.  So it should serve me well here. 

Hopefully, my house will sell soon – fingers crossed  - DOH!!!!!!!  Wait, I don't need luck!