Friday, April 23, 2010

God Has Been Having a Knee Slapping Belly Laugh Reading My Blog!

If I’d woken up with my head sewn to the carpet I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.

– Clark W. Griswold

Life never ceases to amazing me in its irony and cyclic nature! Nice I LOVE irony, and cycles for that matter, one would think that I would not be amazed by the cards life deals me. As I write I’m debating on how much of the truth to reveal. Sometimes when one’s thoughts and feelings are socially taboo, it’s better to keep them to yourself and disturb the civility of cyberspace – well my corner of cyberspace that is.

One of my first blog posts was titled “How Michelle Duggar and I Are Alike.” I adored every single comment you wrote, told or texted me. I stand by every word I wrote in that. I posted that on March 11. As I put the blog live, I wondered how others would perceive my words and opinions. I wrote it because I thought others might feel the same way I did. At that moment I would not have ruled out having another child, but the odds would have been doubtful. I was definitely not going to consider it while I live in the “Greater Tri-State Area.” Turns out I was already pregnant! If God does such a thing, I’m sure He got a side ache from laughing and pointing at me! So here’s the irony if you’re slow. Both Michelle and I deign to NOT fit in the societal mold for having children – until I got and get pregnant and negate my whole premise. I do love irony…..

For the cyclical aspect… In my adult life there are a couple of years that stand out as particularly awful. Until last year, the worst year for me was 2003. After the ball dropped on New Year’s Eve 2003, and I said “good riddance to the year that was, I was ready to do something different in my life. I was ready to make a fresh start. I let my husband talk me into getting on the “baby train.” After the year most memorable to me for its disappointment and misery I got pregnant. In February of 2005 our son came. It appears the cycle has repeated. I had a year that I will remember for its wretchedness and I got pregnant AGAIN. But this time that was NOT the goal.

I was taken aback, stunned, astounded, bewildered (I’d insert more adjectives if I could think of any) when I finally received this news!!! THIS WAS NOT IN THE PLAN FOR ME RIGHT NOW! I plan everything! I even plan moments of spontaneity!

Since all stopgaps between me and pregnancy failed (and there were many) I know this must be an act of Providence. So I try to resign myself to that.

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.”– John Lennon
This news was initially paralyzing for me! Again, I hesitate here to write the whole truth. There was shouting and crying and horrible, irrational thoughts, and just plain being pissed. Husband didn’t know what to do with me at first and then he was mad at me. I don’t blame him.

What’s even worse is that this little blessing was discovered during a routine visit to the doc. It was my first time at this practice and SURPISE!!! Although I was consciously trying not to make an ass of myself – I know I failed.
A wonderful nurse gave me the news and I think my body countenance let her know to tread lightly. I’ll never forget the look on her face when she said to me, out of complete obligation, I know, “Would you like to keep the pregnancy test?”

Who needed a test? I left with ultrasound photos and a canvas bag full of pamphlets, brochures, vitamins and I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP – 4 issues of “Conceive” magazine.

Just so you know I hadn’t completely lost my mind…. I’m sitting in the doc’s office and he begins, “If you choose to move forward with the pregnancy…” My eye rolling stopping him mid sentence. He continued, “We don’t do terminations here, but…” I interrupted, “Oh, I think the die has been cast, don’t you?”

By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant. ~Phyllis Diller
So it appears that the Cadle family will soon a family of 4! I still can’t believe it, but I’m warming to the idea. Or perhaps it’s the pregnancy induced indigestion that’s giving me the warming feeling?

I honestly thought the world was OK without another child from our gene pool. Of course we believe our son to be brilliant and are awaiting his MENSA card to arrive in the mail any day now. But I really thought the world didn’t need any more Cadle children. I was wrong – really wrong.

Husband is already picking out girl names. I’m too exhausted by the first weeks of pregnancy to even be bothered to do things like think (or clean the house)!

For those who know my mother, you know that one thing she rarely is, is speechless! He reaction will be with me always!!!

On the lighter side, I can park in the “New and Expecting Mothers” spot at the grocery store. And with any luck I’ll have a cocktail in my hand (albeit a small one) at Thanksgiving.

But seriously, I realize this is a gift from God, as all babies are, and I am blessed and lucky. I know many who would love to be in my place right now. I ask for your prayers for the health and well being of new baby Cadle. Perhaps his or her utero name should be Serendipity, which means” happy accident.”

"Grandchildren are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their parentage." Proverbs 17:6
Now, don’t let this post fool you into thinking of turned into one of the “Mommy Bloggers.” I’ve got plenty of more rants unrelated to children to share.

As for this moment – I think I’m going to go throw up….

1 comment:

  1. I know you will a wonderful mother to both of your children. I also know if I got news like that I would pass smooth out, so I can appreciate the shock value. Congrats!