Monday, December 13, 2010

It’s Official – I’m NOT Going to be the Princess of Wales!!!

A couple of weeks ago when the press release was issued stating that Prince William was engaged to Kate Middleton, I believe you could almost hear the collective hearts breaking of women and girls all over the world. Mine was one of them. Yes, Williams is a “couple” of years my junior (not as profound as Aston and Demi), but I still believe we would have made a handsome couple.

Husband was intrigued by my infatuation with the news coverage of this event. I was glued to the television and internet waiting for updates and he was ready for the “real” news to begin. I tried to explain to him, although I don’t think he ever really comprehended.

For those who need it, here’s the explanation of the hearts breaking and the passionate reaction to the news of a stranger from across the pond announcing his forthcoming nuptials. You see somewhere in my actual waking, rational consciousness, I actually, really and truly thought I would be the next Princess of Wales. Seriously. Yes, I know how ridiculous it sounds and reads, but it’s the truth. Yes, I know I’m married. But when it comes to being a princess nothing is written in stone until you’re dead – even then God may still negotiate. You see many girls still actually have the “Princess” scenario ready to play out at a moment’s notice. Sure it’s a long shot that an American would be a British Princess, but HAS happened in the past. I give you Princess Grace of Monaco.

Speaking of Monaco – this is how obsessed I am with being a princess… England was actually my “safety” monarchy. This analogy is like the “safe” college you apply for. I’ve always thought that Prince William would marry me if I was not already wed to another prince.

Given the choice, however, I’d be Princess of Monaco. There’s just something about Monaco – the uber exclusive principality on the French Riviera that is a playground to the world’s mega wealthy. They don’t even have taxes there. Ever since I learned about how the House of Grimaldi came into power, I was completely taken. I’m borrowing some words from Wikipedia. Monaco has been ruled by the House of Grimaldi since 1297 when Francesco Grimaldi and his men captured the fortress protecting the Rock of Monaco while he was dressed as a Franciscan monk. Come on… Taking a fortress dressed as a monk. How cool is that? Prince Albert finally married not too long ago, so my hopes were dashed. But I still had William. Or so I thought.

Alas Wills (as he is called by those of us who “know” him) has chosen someone else. But that does not stop me from dreaming. I like to put myself in Kate’s shoes and think about how things would have played out in trying to explain her unique circumstances to her parents.

Parents want their daughters to marry well, but a prince. I like to think it would have happened something like this if I were dating William.

Me: So dad, I’m graduating college but I don’t think I’m going to get a job right away.

Dad: Seriously. I sent you to St. Andrews and you’re not getting a job. That wasn’t a cheap school. Why did I send you?

Me: I thought I’d work for the family business and work from home. I don’t want to get a job and potentially do something the media would deem controversial. I’m going to lay low until I get engaged.

Dad: Not from my home! Lay low until you get engaged?

Me: Wills and I are going to live together in Wales where’s he’s stationed with the RAF.

Dad: You’re going to shack up with the Prince?

Me: It sounds ridiculous when you say it like that.

Dad: Because it is. Does your mama know about this?

Me: She asked if you knew about this.

Dad: Does HIS GRAND MAMA know about this?

Me: Um… Well… I don’t know.

Dad: So let me get this straight. I send you to one of the most prestigious schools in the country but you’re not going to get a job to avoid media controversy. AND you’re going to live with the Prince because you’re pretty sure one day he’ll marry you????

Me: Again, it sounds stupid when you say it….


Well congrats Kate! I hope it went better with your father than that. Your outlandish plan to land the Prince of Wales has worked. His brother, Harry, is still available I hear. I could be the Duchess of York. God knows, I could do a better job at that than Sarah Ferguson! After all, I look fantastic in hats! That ability is so wasted on this side of the pond.

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