Monday, December 19, 2011

What I know for sure...

Tomorrow I’ll go back to being 25ish years old, but for a brief few moments today, I’ll own up to being 36…  This year especially I’ve felt like I’m drifting aimlessly in life – Like I’ve only been reacting to whatever happens to me.  I continue to be surprised and dumbfounded by life.  Sometimes I feel like I know nothing.  So I began to think.  I must have some SOME tiny bits of knowledge of life.  Perhaps I have some “semi-sage” bits of wisdom, if you will.  Here’s what I came up with.  Except for the first one, these are in no particular order…
I know for sure that…
·         …God loves me and there’s nothing I can do about it.  NOTHING!  Powerful to consider.  No matter how unworthy or pointless I feel, God loves me.  Thank goodness for that!

·         …The saying there are two things that are certain – Death and Taxes is wrong.  It should be Death, Taxes and Laundry. 

·         …That the word “shortly” in reality the exact opposite of its dictionary definition.  For example:  The doctor will be in shortly, doesn’t mean that she is on her way in the next 5 minutes.  It means that she’ll be in to spend 6.3 minutes with you after the person preceding you stops blathering on about her child’s navel and she answers 4 messages on her way to your exam room (or something like that).  Example two, the plane will be landing shortly…  That really means, “I have no idea when the plane is going to land.  Let’s just all hope that system of take offs, landings, runway assignments, etc, much like a house of cards, doesn’t crumble.”

·         …That laxatives never work when and in the way you want them to.  A contingency plan is always needed for IF they work and IF they don’t.  Goes triple for children.

·         …Sometimes in life you have to just “fake” being happy.  Pretend to be in a good mood.  Tell others you’re in a good mood.  To quote Dennis Prager, “Not only do we have a right to be happy, we have an obligation to be happy. Our happiness has an effect on the lives of everyone around us-- it provides them with a positive environment in which to thrive and to be happy themselves.”

·         …I should never EVER color or cut my own hair.  Although I know this is a “truth” for me, I continue to do it.  If past behavior is any indication of future behavior my hair will look odd from time to time.

·         …Women are catty!  As a teenager I couldn’t wait to grow up so girls would act like, well adults.  Now that I’ve been an adult longer than not, I know for sure that women don’t change.  There will always be gossiping, back stabbing and jealousy.

·         …Unless there is a true emergency, $62 is not enough to spend on a motel room.  Seeprevious blog.

·         …Children are a pain in the ass!  Two children are exponentially more difficult that one.  I can’t even comprehend three of ‘em.  Not that I wouldn’t throw myself in front of a moving bus to save mine or someone else’s, but they are a nuisance on a good day.  But this quote is also true, “Babies are always more trouble that you thought – and more wonderful” –Charles Osgood.

·         …Everything about the water in Mexico is absolutely TRUE! 

·         …Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.  I almost got into a car wreck...  I could’ve been killed...  The baby almost ate a thumb tack…  Close doesn’t count!  Thank goodness for that.
·         ...Cooking something “flambé”, wearing red lipstick and skinny dipping are risks worth taking.

·         I’m blessed beyond measure and amazed by God’s grace, and a person could do much, much worse than walking a mile in my heels. 
Might not add up to much in the grand scheme of life, but at least I know these things for CERTAIN!

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