Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Snips and Snail and Puppy Dog Tails – Little Boys

Somewhere along the way, me, this biggest girly girl-high maintenance-border line diva, became and expert on little boys.  Go figure.  Today, both of them were acting especially “boyish.”  I began to think about family, friends and others who just got a boy, are about to have a boy or have a 50-50 shot at a boy. 

BOY - gets wrapped in cords,
doesn't care how to free himself
Here’s a list – in no particular order, not in any way comprehensive of what I know about boys…
·         New shoes make a boy run “real, real real” fast!  Upon the purchase of new shoes, expect a demonstration of just how fast the new shoes allow the boy to run.

·         A cape, and on occasion wings, with 100% certainty allow a boy to fly.  Be prepared to catch or break a fall from some odd places.

·         No matter how hard you try, or what soap you use, you CANNOT wash off “little boy smell.”  It’s an odor that is a muddle of rust, dirt, sweat and faint tones of soap.  Thank God for it, too. (Thanks, Kerri Case for reminding me)

·         You know a little boy has had a good day playing outside when, at the end of the day, he hurts himself and cries.  His face is so dirty that tears leave stripes through the dirt on his face. 

BOY - Will catch snakes!
·         He’ll catch bugs, and (heaven help) a snake.  He’ll want to you be proud.  He’ll want you to touch it. 

·         Why walk somewhere when you can run! (Preferably in his new shoes)

·         Somehow, little boys are born knowing how to make noises that are spot on to trucks, cars, missiles, torpedoes and motorcycles.

·         Little boys are also born with a fascination about guns.  Without specific knowledge of what a gun looks like or how one works, he will make a gun out of his hand, legos, trucks, blocks, stuffed animals – anything.

BOY - Will show you his muscles and
make you draw on fake tattoos
·         He might not be able to do math or read proficiently (sample math problem:  Count on 5 from 3) but he can tell you’re the names and model years of tractors, cars and airplanes.

·         You won’t be able to convince him to potty train – that is until he learns he can go outside.

·         Socks might as well be disposable.

·         Little boys love their mamas! 

Don’t wait to make your son a great man – make him a great boy!                -Unknown

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